my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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