had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
