my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize