I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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