you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
