just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I believe in your delicious
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
