It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
