I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
