I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
