Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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