Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
