i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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