i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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