Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
