shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
