i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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