1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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