and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
