They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's great music for shaving your balls
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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