I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
