so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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