At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize