STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize