I hate all girls vehemently.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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