So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
