Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
