So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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