He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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