You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
