Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
