Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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