I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize