Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
