There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
