Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
