Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
