Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
