i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
