My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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