Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
