4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
