Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
