I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
