Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
