Are we in a gay sports bar?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
