How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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