those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
