So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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