i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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