Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize