Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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