ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
