just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
