So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
