Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
