I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize