just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
