All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
