I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Let's get the cat blown out
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
did i just pee glitter
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
