I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
