I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize