dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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