sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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