Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize