Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She's JV to your varsity
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
