I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
